HIP!! ALWAYS MY HIP!
It’s been happening for about the last 18 months and I finally decided it was time to try and FIX IT.
I didn’t delay this process on purpose but I was really limited in my old Health Insurance plan on what was covered and quite frankly, MY FAMILY HAS GOTTEN USED TO EATTING!! I know, right? They ask so much from me! (I KID!!)
WHAT A PAIN THIS PROCESS HAS BEEN. I’ve been begging Dr. Rheumy to give me a referral for an MRI. “Please, please Dr. Rheumy, I’m ready. Insurance will cover it. I’m ready. Let’s figure this out.” 3 days later I wait. Call again and remind them. A week goes by and I wait. GAH, what an awful process. Luckily, my plan doesn’t require me to ask for a referral. So, I took the proactive approach after talking to my mom about the amount of pain I’ve been in (THANKS MOM! Thanks for still taking care of me, even though I’m in my late 20s. See, WE ALL NEED SOMEONE LIKE THAT IN OUR LIVES!) Moving on…Mom recommended I go see an orthopedic physician. AN ORTHO-WHAT? FIRST THING THAT WENT THROUGH MY MIND…surgery. *GULPS; hard* An awful imagine pops into my mind that the orthopedic surgeon is all gowned-up, mask on, and is licking his lips, and rubbing his hands saying ‘my precious!’ I’m probably going to end up being one of those long term-patients, and oh great, we’re starting in my late twenties, not when I’m 70. Boo.
Apparently they don’t want you to go through surgery if you don’t have too. Phew! I still have that image but I pretend he’s wearing a princess crown with a pink boa. Makes it much easier on my NERVES.
I called the orthopedic place this last MONDAY (yes, on FUNDAY MONDAY!) and I saw them this morning, THURSDAY! AMAZING!!
So, I got there a half-hour before my appointment, as requested and filled out paperwork. GAH, I hate paperwork. I really wish there was a standard form and then everyone can just bring that to each office. OOOO, or an APP! Ok, go ahead, take my idea and earn Millions. I WONT MIND!
Filling out every medication I’m on. EVERY VITAMIN! Don’t even get me started on WHEN I started taking the medication. Or wait, what doctor originally prescribed it. Whatev…
After I finished, I tried reading. Yup, tried. I think I read a total of 4 pages while I was there. Not because I didnt have the time. Oh, I did, I just couldn’t focus. PINK BOAS PEOPLE. PINK BOAS!
The medical nurse was ASTOUNDED by the number of x-rays that I have had taken. Except, I told her that these X-rays came from my Rheumatologist and she wasn’t that shocked anymore. Go figure, even orthopedic facilities don’t see a lot of young patients. CRRRAAAAAPPPP!
As I wait, I have to change into these little lovely HOT PANTS. Except there shorts. Regardless, they’re hot. You know you’re dying to see them…okay, well here you go!
Yes ladies and gents. You too can wear paper thin, elastic waste-band SHORTS!
Oh, and look smashing in them with your work shoes (flats!!)
Again, more waiting, and not focusing on reading as I wait for, well, we’ll call him Dr. Orthy. LOL! That looks like Dorthy. I’m sure he’d be pleased about that. AND THE PINK BOA!
We discussed the pain I’ve been in. SCREAMING pain when I sit, when I walk, just all the time. It feels like it just wants to pop. It feels BETTER after I exercise (gosh, I’m so weird!). I explained to him I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis at the age of 16 and have been on Remicade for 10 years.
As he’s examining me, he’s informing his physician assistant on what he’s finding. Hips are even. I can stand on each leg individually. He pushes on my thigh and I SCREAM. I lay down on the exam table and he pulls my hip out and he is like WOAH!! 85 degrees out. Yes, I have what dancers call ‘open hips’. Google It. I can put my hips all the way down on the ground in ‘butterfly style’. Google It. A lot of good that is doing for me. When he turns my leg inverted (knee is inward, not outward) I’m wincing and telling him, THAT HURTS. Yup, I’m weird.
He pushes on my thigh and I SCREAM. He then exams all of my hip x-rays and notices that I don’t have a weight-bearing x-ray. So, off to more radiation. He needs to see what my hip looks like when I stand-up so he can examine the normal amount of spacing between bone and socket. WAHOO! MORE X-RAYS!!
Afterwards, he examines that x-ray, and then finally some kind of conclusion.
Yes, some kind. Apparently the x-ray is painting a very beautiful picture of NORMAL HIPS. I have beautiful hips, what every person would want. Perfect spacing, no deterioration from the arthritis, and perfect cartilage. Really? REALLY? AMEN FOR REMICADE MEDICATION! WAHOO! I’ve been told that my medication has stopped the progression of my arthritis. WAHOO! Yay for medical remission. EVEN THOUGH MY HIP STILL HURTS!
So, an MRI is to be scheduled and a follow-up appointment with him in 7-10 business days after the MRI has been taken. HOWEVER, remember that screaming noise I made when he pressed my hip. That wasn’t just for FUN. PINK BOA! PINK BOA!
Ya, I have what’s called trochanteric bursitis. Ya, don’t ask me even how to pronounce it. However, it does mean hip bursitis. The definition is as follows: “Bursitis is caused by inflammation of a bursa, a small jelly-like sac that usually contains a small amount of fluid.”* Dr. Orthy said that my sack is like a deflated balloon and can rub, which gets irritated and inflamed. Mine is just overloaded. Well, what do you know! I’m weird, ok maybe not. BUT STILL!
So, its not the cause of of the pain hip, but it is a symptom. Well, at least I’m not making this pain up. MRI request was placed and in order to treat the bursitis, a cortisone shot was given to me. NOW THAT HURT LIKE A…
I have to lay low for the next two days. Limited activity (wahoo! no garden work ;)) and rest. For the MRI I’m not allowed to take ibuprofen. Now, that sucks. Whenever the acetaminophen doesn’t kick-in, I switch to ibuprofen. Oh super.
So, remember my HOT SHORTS. This is what they looked liked after a hole was cut and the injection was complete.
Not even SpongeBob, Barbie, or Mickey Mouse band-aid. I’M SO OLD! Not even a sucker. So, I treated myself to sushi for lunch. YUM-O! Yes ladies and gents, that’s how grown-ups deal with SHOTS! Maybe next time a pair of new shoes! 😉
So, one more problem with me. LOL. One more issue done. Onto the next!
Until next time…
Pink Boas, Princess Crowns and band-aids,