As you know, I like to keep this blog light, fun, and positive. But sometimes…sometimes….things you can’t control usually have a major impact on us more than we EVER care to admit. They tend to affect us in a deep, painful, personal way. Its what I like to call, “Shit Hits The Fan”.
Well, guys, Shit Hit The Fan for me on Tuesday. Now, I’ve debated back and forth on whether I was going to open up and share this moment in my life. Its a very personal one, and impacts my little family’s lifestyle in a way I hoped would never surface.
I’ve never been one to share my problems, probably because I always feel like I’m burdening someone with them. Maybe, its my stoic side, or quite possibly, my stubborn side, but I’ve always thought – why share. Its my burden. Its my issue. I can honestly admit that when I do share my burden, I share with the least few. Those few are usually my family.
With that in mind and this blog in mind, I’ve decided to share. I’ve decided to share because this little blog is where I share my personal journey, related to and not related to arthritis. This is one of the hardest posts I’ve ever had to write. It takes great strength to share because I hate sharing burden. As a child, we hopefully experience the most joy, life, and hope with the clear possibility of it happening in our adult life. But ladies and gents, sometimes its out of your control. Sometimes, SHIT HITS THE FAN.
So, what hit the fan?
On Tuesday, my employer was forced into cutbacks. My salary has decreased by 20 percent which drastically changes everything, especially since my little family depends on my consistent income. What once was a tight budget to begin with is now 20 percent less. My little family and I were just starting to come out of the other side of our financial issues. Now, everything has been cut back to the barebones for survival.
- The kitchen will not be done by the end of this year. I’m crying as I type this.
- I will definitely not make it to my brothers wedding. There was a slim chance that I could have made it – again the whole tight budget thing, but now that its bare bones, I definitely will not. This breaks my heart.
- I pray that my dogs do not get into trouble, because, honestly, that will be disastrous.
- The holidays are officially at the bare-minimum. I love the holidays and I love going overboard.
- We will definitely need to add a roommate into our household. This could be quite interesting…again.
- I didn’t lose my health insurance with the cutbacks. Those with chronic illnesses know exactly how important it is – especially with limited finances and major expense in drugs. THANK GOD!
- I don’t have to work 5 days a week at 4 days pay. So, I will be able to turn Fridays into “Get Shit Done Fridays” or GSDF.
- Its opened up possibilities of supplementing the loss income.
- Mr. P is the most supportive person I know. We’re doing everything TOGETHER to get this right. I’m very lucky.
- My cats have piled on top of me. They know something is wrong.
- The dogs just want to play. I love labs!
- Nothing a glass box of wine can’t cure.
And honestly, I don’t really know what else to say about it. It really sucks. I take great pride in my work and thrive off of it. I love to work because it gives me purpose, a sense of accomplishment, drive, and ambition. However, in the last few days I have weaved in and out of the 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I’m hoping by acknowledging it, sharing it, and dealing with it the best way I know how too, that I’ll finally reach the Acceptance Stage.
So, where am I going with this? Other than just sharing a bunch of personal information all over this blog? Well, I’m ready for a fresh start. I’m trying to look on the more positive side, and although the beginning of this post was very down-in-the-dumps, I’m hoping for a positive come-back.
Personally, when I think of November, its the season to be thankful. And quite honestly, I really need to put some focus and energy into this. Therefore, I’ve decided that for the month of November, I will be sharing my tips on how to be thankful and ultimately grateful in a really crappy situation.
For November, I’ve decided that my Funday Monday posts will continue to be lighthearted and funny – because honestly, we all could use more humor in our life. Friday Favorites will focus on GSDF to-do list and some fun crafty holiday ideas. In between, I will explore the inner workings on the “HOW”. How to be thankful, how to deal with the holidays on a bare-bone budget, and how to just cope. On a lighter side, I definitely have a fun and fabulous giveaway coming up, which ties nicely into the November theme. I hope by doing this, by admitting it, and now sharing it, that ultimately it prevents me from crawling into a cave, turning my GLEE soundtrack to the highest level, singing at the top of my lungs to “Don’t Stop Believing”, and crying my eyes out. Well, I’ve already done that in my car. Here’s hoping I don’t go into a cave.
With all of that said, I will leave you with this final thought –
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.